


Time Travel

by aravenwood



Series: Febuwhump '19 [20]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Caleb Widogast Has Issues, Caleb Widogast Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Nightmares, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 10:44:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17865776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aravenwood/pseuds/aravenwood
Summary: Almost every night in his dreams, Caleb went back in time. He went back to his childhood, back to Ikithon, but more often than not, he went back to his parents.Written for the Febuwhump '19 prompt "time travel".





	Time Travel

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is a fairly short one because being totally honest I was more in the mood for writing something romantic than I was for something angsty. So I compromised by writing something romantic and then something angsty. This is the angsty one.
> 
> Enjoy!

Almost every night in his dreams, Caleb went back in time. He went back to his childhood, back to Ikithon, but more often than not, he went back to his parents.

Sometimes the fire happened just as it had in real life and he was forced to relive it over and over for the entire night, unable to wake himself up. He was forced to listen to their screams, forced to stand there and watch just like he’d done on that night; waiting for them to fall silent and for the deed to be done. As he stood there in silence, watching the flames engulf the house, the Caleb who had to relive it all night screamed – he begged for himself to stop, to rethink. Sometimes he begged to just walk into the flames, to end it right alongside the people who had cared for him so dearly. It never happened, of course, but that never stopped the desire.

On even worse nights, he got his wish and stood in the house with them. But he was little more than a ghost, and the flames couldn’t kill him like they killed his parents. He stood there engulfed in flames but feeling nothing, all the while his mother and father were but a few feet away with the fire burning the flesh from their bodies. Just like the other dream, he was helpless, frozen to the spot and able to do nothing but scream for their mercy.

Those were the nights he woke with a scream. Sobbing and gasping for breath, he curled his body as small as it would go and clutched at his hair, ignoring the pain which came with it. He couldn’t breathe on those nights, couldn’t do anything at all but lay there and mourn for the loss of the people who had loved him most in the world.

“I’m here, Mr Caleb,” someone whispered in his ear. A familiar voice but one he couldn’t bring himself to respond to. His sobs as continued as large hands pulled his head onto their lap and stroked his hair just like his mother used to during nightmares. This only made him sob harder because he missed her, he missed her so damned much and it was his fault that they weren’t here anymore, that neither of them were here.

“It’s alright, Mr Caleb. You aren’t alone, not anymore. We’re here for you. I’m here for you.”

The words, so softly spoken in his ear, couldn’t fix what he had done. The hands in his hair couldn’t brush away his grief. But combined, they lessened the ache in his chest and calmed his breathing, and that was so much more than he deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
